Tourments and Tournaments
8/17/2024
Do you remember OCTs?
I sure as hell do. I guess It's because of the OCT Entries of Unknown-Person and Zeurel that has inspired my young impresisonable 10 or so year old mind to get into making my own OCs as a whole. Original Character Tournaments played a massive role on me as an artist and writer. I feel like if it wasn't for the community I would not be making OCs that has their own complex lore. I never fully dabbled in it, mostly just been looking at everyone's entries in big named OCTs and fantasizing about my OCs in a huge battle with others. If you dabbled in it yourself, you know that isn't the case-- but I was 10-ish after all.
I still remember my first OCT; The Gallery. It was inspired by the RPG IB and man I was trying to join it with my friend Rin back in like 2013? Obviously it never worked out, I couldn't complete my Audition in time, thus I never got in. I learned early on that I cannot complete comics by myself (multiple times) without proper planning and a good workflow. After that I just watched my friends participate in it or just read up or watch everyone's entries. It wasn't till 2017 that I tried to give it another shot with the Sue Me OCT; now a defunct DA group :[
This was an audition attempt that I was real happy about!
The whole thing about this OCT that the contestant becomes a mary sue and must duke it out to be normal again, which I thought was really fun. I ended up using Adrian who was not only a hodge podge of design choices at the time, but also is one of my oldest OCs. It was just an excuse to draw his original design, where not only it was very mary sue-ish but also edgy and fun as fuck. I also couldn't complete it, but with what I had so far, I was proud of my attempt. I still am! Even if my artstyle then makes me feel a bit queasy.
I'll be honest, I'm surprise I'm getting back into it again. I don't wanna say what OCT I'm joining till I actually submit my audition with my teammate. It's been a process and we still have alot to do, but I'm really excited for what we have planned (hopefully, you can never be too sure how far in you'll get in these things). It does make me feel very forlorn. Sensitive topics are to be touched on and even though I am over it, it still makes me feel... sad. Nothing major like IRL death or whatever, but it makes me question alot about some OCs.
OCs can be such fickle things. You grow attached to your creation and if you dabble in Roleplay, can really build your character. I've been rumminating how many OCs of mine have dissappeared or reworked by bad memories. There's definitely some that I wish I could care and rework but sometimes it's best to leave it in the pass. Much like the moon phases, OCs come and go. God I feel like a grandma going through her family scrapbook. It's been a nostalgic month as a whole too, as I've been looking at my old animation meme videos but that's for another entry.
I want to add a little video or something in my entries, so here's something that I remembered during my nostalgic spiral. I believe this guy did the dance again after a decade later from this video. It was one of my favorite DDR songs.
The Brain Tumbler
8/5/2024
Welcome, welcome.
I'd figured my first entry would be introducing this journal. Welcome to my think tank, my mental world, my poor attempt of some mental phrase. I made this like any other who decided to make this type of journal; my own personal space where I ramble to the void. There just doesn't seem to be any good space for one to spill their thoughts out. Twitter is a cesspool, Discord creates this weird atmosphere -- it just feel like you walk into the room, ramble what you wanna ramble and leave. I suppose tumblr would be the closest to some attempt at a journal but... there's nothing that feels as right as having yuor own neocities journal.
Maybe it's the fact the core web thrives off of interaction with satistics showing on every post. Maybe it's the fact that these sites are too exposed to the world. These types of journals just feel like... well. Your headspace placed into the digital web, a barebone line of code strung up and woven into a digital construct of a mini noteboke. Or a secluded part of the wilderness that you always go to when you want to brood and/or meditate about life.
Anyways. I want to provide myself an outlet to ramble about things now that I've reached that big ol' quarter milestone of one's mortal existance. A place where I don't talk someone's ear off in a call about whatever is on my mind... and something to potentially help brush up on my writing skills in terms of wording my thoughts.
That being said, expect some weird brain mush from time to time as this is most likely going to be ramblings of a mind whose awake at 3am. Speaking of; it's 4:20 AM by the time I'm writing this. This page would probably not be launched till the night after, but hey! This is just a taste of my weird tangled brain.
And yes... this blog page was made with Psychonaut references in mind. :P
